How to be Successful on Your Own Terms
People often come to me asking for help revitalising their careers. Sometimes they feel like they’ve hit a wall that only gets bigger, thicker, and more impenetrable no matter what they try. If this resonates with you, you may feel stuck and wonder how you can break down this barrier.
Good news, I have some practical advice to help you…
This one is a toughie, but it’s perfectly normal to feel like this from time to time. It can affect anyone at any time in their life. When people say to me. “I feel like I should be further ahead, in life and my career!” I treat it as a signal that something needs to change.
It’s an insidious way of thinking that slowly creeps in and, without being addressed, can take over and affect the quality of your work and working relationships, compounding the issue. When it’s left to run wild, it leaves people feeling like they’re being left behind, lagging, a failure, empty, desperate, and hopeless.
If you feel like you started your career too late, your career has stalled, or you look back on your working life and think you haven’t achieved enough, I encourage you to dig deeper and reflect on what’s driving this toxic thought process.
How to overcome feeling like you’re not good enough
Once you’ve taken that crucial first step in recognising what’s happening, you can start the process of getting back on track. Begin by reflecting on what led you there in the first place.
Are you being influenced by other people’s expectations, such as friends and family? A common culprit in the modern age is social media, so you may need to limit yourself if you spend too much time on social media.
Remember, people tend to curate their lives online by sharing more of their highs than lows. You could end up in comparison mode, whereby you judge your life by what others are doing. But it’s not a true reflection of their lives, and you’ll never find success or happiness that way.
So what’s a healthy way to measure your success?
Stop worrying about what you haven’t achieved but instead look at what you have achieved.
Then assess what (if anything) needs to change and focus on that.
Adopt the will to change or learn to celebrate and enjoy what you’re doing!
Accept that there is no right way to live your life – celebrate your success, acknowledge your failures, learn from them and move on.
Consider your age stage as what you want from work changes throughout your life.
The only person you need to compare yourself with is you!
No matter what you do or achieve, you will continue to have these negative feelings unless you get clear on what success means to you (not other people, society, or any other source).
You’ll have more time and energy to invest in yourself and work when you start focusing on your path and not other people’s career route.
Set yourself up for success
There’s a saying that ‘A goal without a strategy is just a dream.’ I work with people to redefine what success looks like to them and no one else. Together we figure out what they enjoy, what skills they have and how to get what they want out of life.
Here are my top four tips to help you get started:
Consider what you want out of life; what’s truly important to you?
Where do you want to get to in your working life e.g. more responsibility, promotion or mentoring?
What’s stopping you from achieving goals, e.g. are you showing up right, is it time for a change, or perhaps you need more training to get there?
Set yourself a timeframe and have someone you trust to hold you accountable.
Final thoughts:
Everybody is different, and there’s no right or wrong way to approach your work-life. You can try to tackle it on your own. Working with a career coach can help get you there faster by working with you to identify what’s holding you back, figuring work out where you want to go and how to get there.
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