REAL Self Care - what does it mean for you?

Yoga retreats, facials, baths, ‘me time’, retail therapy… these are all terms we have heard recently talking of ‘self-care’. And yes, they do make you feel better, in the short term. They really do feel like a break from the norm and pleasurable. But do you find that sometimes it just feels a little ‘empty’? Or maybe a little predictable?  Just maybe, they might not be satisfying your personal sense of well-being and what you need.

I know, it’s a surprise.

You’re not alone, and it’s absolutely fine to feel this way. If we aren’t fundamentally finding our own version of self and what it means to us to feel fulfilled, these gestures might just not hit the mark—leaving you feeling less cared for and still a little harried.

Eudaimonic Well-being

Have you heard of eudaimonic well-being? It’s a term that refers to what we are looking for when we want to achieve…

“the type of happiness or contentment that is achieved through self-actualization and having a meaningful purpose in one's life.”

Fundamentally we all need a sense of purpose and well-being in what we do with our time. A reason for getting out of bed and moving through our lives in a positive, motivated way. Often if you have achieved this sense of well-being through your job and life in other ways may find a relaxing bath is enough to satisfy the space for self-care and feel refreshed and ‘cared for’. If your sense of self is being met daily, you feel happy and content in most areas of your life.

Though if the rest of your life is out of whack…

Your job isn’t aligning with your values or meeting your sense of purpose, or you feel pulled in a thousand different directions, you might need to address these key areas before you really feel a sense of contentment and alignment.

Take a step back and look at your work life, what is it that lights your fire? Or gives you the space to make you feel reset?

Understanding where you are, what is meeting, and what isn’t meeting your needs can take time, focus, and internal digging. Really addressing what motivates you, are there areas that align with what you value and what value you can create and maybe other areas that aren’t. Do you have the time and space (and energy) to pursue other interests?

I talk about work life balance in my article Purpose and Value: Your Work Life Balance and where we have seen a shift in the place of work in peoples lives since the pandemic. This shift has seen many people question how they work, where they work and what makes a great work place.

What is it that makes you feel happy and fulfilled?

Self-care should be a larger question around our lives in general. What is it that makes you feel happy and fulfilled? This is understanding what you value and what value you create for others. It’s a big term, but self-actualisation is really taking stock and recognising yourself in the mirror. Prioritising your needs. What will put a spring in your step and a smile on your face for longer but spending your time doing activities and work that meet your needs and align with what matters most? 

I really encourage putting time and energy into looking at, understanding and taking action to meet what you need on a day-to-day basis. What you feel is important, and a sense of purpose will lead to longer well-being and contentment.

Let’s get started

To get you started, grab a pen and paper, sit down and write down your answers to these top-line questions: 

1.Your job

What role does your job fill in your life? Is it meeting your financial needs? Is it challenging, satisfying and giving you a reason to get out of bed in the morning? 

2. Find something that can fulfil your sense of purpose

Does your job meet your financial needs but not much more, finding purpose elsewhere can fill this gap. Some consider volunteering or alternative activities out of work hours.

3. Other Activities

Projects, learning a new language, woodworking, renovations, trail running - these are all great activities that can add new dimensions to your life. An outlet for your energies and engaging your brain in something new can revitalize your outlook on life. What are they?

Now take a look at what you have written down. Is there a glaring gap in your life that you can fill in other ways? Or, on reflection, you really feel content as it is - likely, if you have gone through this activity you are motivated to make a change.

TAKE ACTION!

Prioritising your needs is not selfish. You will be a better worker, colleague, partner, mother, and all the other hats we wear if you are feeling fulfilled and content with your place in life. Make space for the activities that will fill your cup and make you feel closer to the self you want to be. Self-care is caring for yourself in ways you might care for others.

It’s a big call to make and can be confronting to dig deep and get into what you need to feel fulfilled. Self-care can mean many things to many people. And understanding what you need can take time. As can making the space for a change or addition to your life, and this can mean a little rearranging in your life, especially if you have dependents or are carrying the financial burden alone.

I love helping clients find there fulfilment in their work life. Seeing through the forest to the trees and beyond. Understanding the role work plays in this and what is beyond. I go into The trouble with looking for your next big career move based on finding your passion in my blog. Recognising the value balance that work has and where it sits in your life.

If you would like more guidance on finding balance in your work life and how to truly act on your self care, you can sign up for my newsletter – or book a consultation, and we can work together to find where your next stop might be.